Dwight Shrute wants to be an All-Star too...

Once upon a time, in a land actually not too far, far away (lets call this land Legitimus All-Staronius) AI (yes, the same AI who did not start over the illustrious Mike Conley for the Grizz and the same AI who couldn't even get the Knicks to pick him up despite the Knicks starting 4 1/2 players, yeah I'm talking to you Chris Duhon), would not even be on the All-Star game ballot. In Legitimus All-Staronius 2010 T-Mac would never come precipitously close to starting an All-Star game and would never end up as the 2nd leading vote getter for Western Conference guards (ahead of Chris Paul!) by putting up such incredible season averages of 3.2 pts and 1 assist in 7 minutes of play in 6 games. In Legitimus All-Staronius players who are really centers (yes Tim Duncan, I'm talking to you) would not masquerade on the ballot as PF's because they would not get voted in as All-Star starters with a dominate Shaq and a healthy Yao (oh wait never mind, Yao is never really healthy) on the ballot as Western Conference centers.

Ahh how I long for the days of yonder in Legitimus All-Staronius. Meanwhile, in the present day Association, chaos is afoot...the least knowledgeable people in the sport (fans of course) are 100% in control over who starts the All-Star game. Players who don't deserve to start (yes, I'm talking to you AI and yes you too KG with your 20 something games played, and I was almost talking to you too T-Mac before we were spared the embarrassment at the last minute) are taking All-Star spots away from much more deserving players. This is not shocking...again, the least knowledgeable people on the sport are wholly responsible for selecting starters with no input whatsoever from coaches, GMs, and the players themselves.

But the best part of the story?? That's easy, the NBA's patent refusal to do anything at all about these shenanigans because "the NBA is a fans game and the All-Star game and the sport are all about the fans." Lol this is classic. As a fan, I was completely unaware that the NBA cared about me at all. I mean I know they care about the fans sitting in the luxury boxes and maybe about the ones sitting courtside, but me?? God bless David Stern for thinking about me, the fan, during the All-Star game (which of course there is no shot I will likely ever be able to go to).

Lets briefly chronicle the NBA's "hey, we're all about the fans" concern shall we. First, if I want to go see an NBA game I have to pay ridiculous prices to see the game from really far away (the costs of these far away seats go up every year). At many arenas if I even want a whiff of seeing LeBron, Melo or any of the other megastars, I better be prepared to buy a package deal that includes two lame teams like the T'Wolves and Pacers cuz according to the NBA "not only are we forcing you to fork over a lot of dough to see LeBron, but he's a package deal...you get to see Roy Hibbert and Corey Brewer too!" Anyways since paying $30 for the parking lot is patently out of the question, I've trained it to the game, plopped down in my $80 "wow, LeBron looks really small from up here seat" and since I can't bring my own peanuts and cracker jacks to the game I'm now hungry. Needless to say the $50 I spend for food and drinks for two at the concessions stand could have likely been better spent at a finer eating establishment. But you know what, I have a better idea! Why not just stay home and watch the game in the comfort of my own home?! Oh wait, if I want to watch an NBA game at home on my couch I have to pay ridiculously high prices for the NBA's league pass. So it is crystal clear to the fans that the NBA is a business and there in it to win it, but much less clear is that the NBA cares about me, the fan...unless of course we're talking about voting for the All-Star game.

And what is the NBA's real fear if for instance when the All-Star game rolled around fans counted for 1/3 of the vote, players counted for 1/3 of the vote, and coaches/GMs counted for 1/3 of the vote?? That the fans are not going to show up to watch the All-Star game at all if Rajon Rondo or Steve Nash or Chris Paul starts and Allen Iverson and T-Mac aren't close to sniffing the team?? Never fear NBA, as I can assure you there will be no dreaded fan revolt from the horror of having to watch Steve Nash or CP3 or Rondo start the All-Star game and drop dimes and throw oops throughout. Of course fans will continue to pay to watch the All-Star game and will tune in on TV, and of course the game will still, somehow be exciting if only real All-Stars played in it. Why? Because people who know the game (coaches, players, gms, beat writers, etc.) are not going to be selecting Mighty Mbenga or J.J. Reddick (Dukie...nuff said!) for the All-Star roster. They are going to select the most deserving guys to play in the game, including the actual and wildly entertaining superstars of the league (LeBron, Kobe, Melo, D-Wade, Howard, Roy, Paul, D-Will, etc.) and not the watered down "name brand" superstars of yesteryear. I mean c'mon, what fan is seriously buying a ticket to the All-Star game in the hopes of seeing AI or T-Mac "crush it" with guys like LeBron, Kobe, Durant, D-Wade, D-Howard, CP3, Melo in the building?! What fan in their right mind is tuning in to the All-Star game thinking "I can't wait to see T-Mac take a bunch of off balanced fadeaway threes with a hand in his face in the All-Star game today, it's gonna be awesome"??!! No fan is thinking that, which makes the NBA's explanation for not doing anything at all implausible (yes, T-Mac and AI obviously got votes...a lot of them. But the point is that fans are not going to NOT watch the game if, for whatever reason, neither of them are in the game. So the NBA saying they're keeping 100% fan voting because the game is about what the fans want is nonsensical).

Why does any of this matter at the end of the day? Who cares if the AI's or T-Mac's of the world take away an All-Star spot from a more deserving player?? Well for one it matters to the players. It's actually an honor to be named to an all-star team. It means someone, anyone has recognized your accomplishment in something that you have likely dedicated your whole life to being good at. I imagine that must feel pretty special. Imagine if Michael Scott created an All-Star team at Dunder-Mifflin...does anyone in their right mind think that Dwight Shrute would not KILL himself to be on it?! Even Jim would want to be on Dunder-Mifflin's All-Star team. You'd want to be on the All-Star team at your office too because it means someone has recognized you for the great work you do. And while you might want your clients (fans?) input as to the job you did, you'd also want the input and respect from your peers and bosses because they are really the ones who know all that you contribute. In the NBA it's no different.

But this matters for more practical reasons than emotional lifetime achievement ones. It matters because fan voting is taking money out of players' pockets by giving away All-Star spots to players who do not deserve them. For example, many professional contracts contain rather lucrative bonuses, incentives and escalators that kick in when a player is named to an All-Star team. In addition, making an All-Star team is an undoutable boost to a player's credentials. This boost could be critical in contract negotations. When its time to negotiate that next big contract and secure the well-being of family being an "All-Star" can swing leverage in your favor. So yes, in a very real way All-Star "slights" are kind of a big deal.

While I have poked some fun at AI and T-Mac, it should be noted that I think AI and T-Mac are fantastic people and players. Indeed, I grew up as big fans of both guys games and still am a fan of what they bring to the court (though certainly not a fan of what they would bring to my fantasy basketball team). I just don't think the 2010 version of either player is truly worthy of All-Star consideration.


So what to do about fan voting?? For one, 100% fan voting is not the way to go. Break it into thirds and let fans, players, coaches and GMs all play a role in voting for who starts the game. Second, please stop printing the ballots before the season even starts! The game is in February for crying out loud. I bet if you let the season play itself out a little bit, printed out and distributed ballots in December and gave everyone a couple of months to vote, it would be fine...and guys like Zach Randolph who are putting up 21 pts and 11 boards and Kaman putting up 20 pts and 9 boards a night won't be omitted entirely from the ballot. You get one day to vote for the President...2.5 months should be plenty of time to figure out whose in the "deserving" ball park, make a ballot, distribute it, and have folks check "yes" to LeBron and "no" to AI (and voting is done online and through texting mostly, so don't tell me time is an issue here!). Lastly, the "China Problem." Something has to be done about the voting (patterns) in China. China I love you, but a billion votes for T-Mac just because he plays with Yao is unacceptable. What's next Carl Landry and Luis Scola for the 2011 All-Star team?! No thanks...

Anyway, no matter what happens I'm sure the game will be fun for all in Dallas, but please NBA stop the charade about how the game and the NBA is "fan"tastic. Fantastic? Yes! "Fan"tastic? No.